it's a sin, honey

"I perceived, of course, the drift of my interlocutor.
Jealousy
had got hold of him: she stung him; but the sting was salutary: it gave him respite from the gnawing fang of melancholy. I would not, therefore, immediately charm the snake."

- Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte
Speech? Useless.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011 @ 10:24 PM


Wait, why am I even posting? Whatever, I have too many things to voice out to the world. I can’t possibly go around, telling everyone how I feel. Its attention catching and. Ridiculous.

Say, life has changed a little. You see your friends, growing up, enjoying life while you’re the only one, that stay rooted. I’m fine this way. Its peaceful. Just wait people, I will catch up soon.

Cancer, revengeful. That’s so true. I just can’t seem to let go of the past. Why am I still holding on tight to the broken strand of string?

Many times, I would say, life’s unfair. Now I realized, it is just as fair as it would be. The problem lies within me. I have no one to blame. I should buy more mirrors and start reflecting.

Ah, as usual, I’m going to complain about people: What’s there to hide? Everyone just can’t seem to open up. I know, in a girls’ school, competition’s great. Not just any competition. Its about one’s pride and value. Why do we need to hold on to our pride? We come from different background, different environment. And that’s what makes everyone special! I see no point in being a wannabe, or even a drag queen in front of others. Actually, I’m in no position to say all this. Cause I’m one of those few, whom hides their background, their feelings just to blend in with the crowd. I wanna be the person just standing beside the spotlight. People would notice me, but I’m not the one caught up with the fame.

Fame, flame. The difference? A letter l. l for language. The art of speaking. I guess I’ll never master it.

Now I question myself, what do others think of me. Why can’t I be care free and ask. What do I personally think of myself?

I always look at people walking down the streets, observing their appearances. Trying to know them all. But I can’t. All I see is walking-mannequins. Dummies.

I wanna know what you’re thinking. Will you tell me?


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